


Plots

by awesomesauce1881



Category: Bottom (UK), The New Statesman (TV 1987), The Young Ones (TV 1982)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-30
Updated: 2018-06-15
Packaged: 2019-04-30 10:43:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,757
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14495196
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/awesomesauce1881/pseuds/awesomesauce1881
Summary: One word prompts, really plots of stories I will probably never write. So if someone wants one, please go for it.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I own nothing, nothing at all. Completely unbetad.  
> And a nod to Love & Mobsters.

1\. Amber

After all the sweat and pulling, Vyvyan's hair isn't so much orange as it is amber. Rick wonders if there is anything fossilized in there. 

2\. Arctic

There's no heat in the house, whether from failing to pay bills or Vyvyan's "repairs". It's snowing and Neil is hoping there will be enough to encase the house like an igloo. 

3\. Ash

There's a pile of ash on the bedroom floor from Vyvyan's pacing. Rick has the mind to call the dean, the fascist bastard, to get Vyvyan's final test score himself, or find out how much cash is in the kitty and bribe Mike to do it. 

4\. Bent

"Vyvyan, why is my door knob bent?"   
"Be-cause you girlie swot you don't live there anymore"   
A look of nervous fear flitted across Rick's face "and why not!? I paid my share of the rent!"   
A smirk trailed across the punk's face as he popped the door to his own room open and Rick's face lit up. 

5\. Bubble 

Mike shakes his head behind his paper, trying to stifle the laughter at the couple in front of him. Amazed that they think they are actually fooling anyone, walls are paper thin in this house. But it won't be him that bursts their bubble, he'll wait for them to tell him proper. And then he's soundproof their rooms. 

6\. Block

It's been there since they moved in, this block of cheese. Neil refuses to let anyone eat it it, it's just about the only thing that brings him close to violence. He fears what may happen to them if the cheese no longer exists.

7\. Comfort 

Rick is always taken aback by the amount of comfort he gets from Vyvyan, even before this thing between them started, even before they lived together and Vyvyan picked him up off the side of the road, where he was left beaten by thugs and left to die, those bastards, and put him back together again. 

8\. Creek 

They spend their summer at the creek pretending to fish. It's more like a urinal run off, but after a couple of beers no one cares. And for the first time in Rick's life, he feels like he has actual friends. 

9\. Dinner

Neil dropped dinner again. Mike has decide he's going to make Vyv and Rick get him oven gloves for his birthday or Christmas, whichever comes first. 

10 Everlasting

Vyvyan bought gobstoppers, he told Rick they were for practice. Rick hasn't really figured out yet what that means, except it's left him sticky and aroused. 

 

11 Elephant 

Neil likes elephants, he feels like they'd understand him. But he never wants the dancing elephant head to come back. He checks the house every night before locking up to make sure they are safe. 

 

12 Fighting 

They don't fight as much anymore. They bicker constantly, but the violence is at a low roar, primarily only foreplay nowadays. 

13 garage

Rick was cleaning out the garage. Something they hadn't done since they moved in ten years ago. Hell, they didn't even bother to unpack most of their stuff from when they moved out of their tiny studio apartment, that they had during Vyvyan's residency. When they moved into their house, just shoveled everything into the garage to be dealt with later. 

14\. Hallway   
There's a Rick shaped dent in the upstairs hallway next to the bathroom door that makes Rick smile every time he sees it. 

15\. Kitten  
One day Rick came home with an angry ginger kitten. Neil locked himself in his room for over three hours, until Vyvyan came home and demanded his tea.   
"oh heavy Vyv, I am glad you're not like a cat anymore, what happened did you anger a wizard?"   
So now when Neil is particularly annoying, Vyvyan will let out a small meow, and watch Neil look around spooked, throw down whatever he was doing and lock himself in his room. Despite the kitten being fast asleep on the couch, much to Mike's dismay. 

 

16 Mess

When Neil and Mike arrived home after a three day weekend away, they weren't expecting the house to be standing. Definitely not expecting it to be clean and full of food. To find Rick with a mohawk painting the lounge, yelling at them to keep their mouths shut because Vyvyan was studying for his final. 

17 Money  
After his parents died, Rick paid off the house. He never told the guys, and they never seemed to question why Jerzie never came by for the rent. 

18 Night  
It was the middle of the night, and it has been several years since he had last seen Rick, and he doesn't have the right to call but he doesn't have anyone else. Rick answers on the second ring his voice muddled with sleep  
"hello, it's 2 in the morning this better be bloody important"   
"Rick..." Vyvyan sighed out not exactly sure what to say.   
"Vyvyan? Oh alright, where are you!?"   
Vyvyan stuttered out his address and hung up after Rick said he'd be there in twenty minutes. He looked around thinking he should maybe tidy up, but not really having the will to do so, he put on a pot of coffee and stared at his vodka until his doorbell rang and let out a sigh of relief as he got up to let Rick in. 

19 Rolls 

It took over a year but Vyvyan finally took him on a proper date, and maybe it was only to the pizza place down the block that they went every weekend. But there were dinner rolls, and Rick just pretends not know Vyvyan brought the rolls in with them. 

20 Ribbon 

Rick awoke slightly bewildered, not having remembered going to bed, or for that matter being knocked unconscious, not that he always saw that coming. He couldn't see much of anything, he appeared to be tied to a bed, with what felt like silken ribbons, and something was glittering across the room off the rays from the streetlight. He tried to pull his arms, but the straps keeping pinned tightened against his wrists, he tried his legs by lifting them up and placing his feet flat on the bed. That's when he felt it, satin sliding down his legs to pool at his waist. Some pervy bastard has kidnapped him, tied him up, changed his clothing and put him in a dress, and not even one of his own, and without even giving him the modesty of his pants. "oh your going to be in for it Mr pervy fascist kidnapper, when Vyvyan gets a hold of you, And let me tell you, you're going to be in a world of troo-uble if you took liberties. Where are my pants?" "I doubt you'll be needing your knickers, you girlie bastard" sigh of relief from Rick can be heard

21 Troll   
There was a troll living in bathroom cupboard. He showed up a week after SPG died. Vyvyan claims he doesn't see him, but the rest wish Vyvyan would throw the toilet out the window again so they wouldn't have to use it in there. 

22 Unstable   
The jello cake was unstable, Rick knew at any moment it was going to fall apart into gelatinous mess. He's still not sure what possessed Mike to want a jello cake in the first place, it's unnatural. 

23 Vest  
Vyvyan walked into his room to see Rick standing there in his best denim vest. He felt his pulse quicken and then he had Rick up against the back of his bedroom door, hands wrapped around the lapels of his vest, studs scraping his calluses, tongue as deep as it could go in his mouth. While Rick's red booted feet dangled until he caught on, wrapping them around Vyvyan's waist knocking his towel to the floor as his hands wrapped into ungelled hair.


	2. Better

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here are some more. I really don't think writing is my strength. But these things are just sitting in my head and have to get out. But please anyone wants to expand or revamp any idea please do. I am begging really.

1\. Place

He can't find his place, can't get comfortable. It's been like this since the crash, somehow they all survived, with barely a scratch, But this nagging anxiety, that this isn't right and something is missing or out of place. Going through the motions of fighting with Vyvyan, harassing Neil to make tea, trying to understand whatever it is Mike is going on about, man speaks entirely in riddles. But that's what it is, just going through the motions. He thinks the others might feel it as also, well at least Vyvyan does, he thinks, he just doesn't hit as hard as he used to, and his words rarely sting anymore. 

2\. Sideways

At first, Rik kept giving him sideways glances, then it turned into heated stares. It was starting to get under his skin. Mike would be talking to him about his latest conquest, and he would feel Rick's eyes on him; or when Neil was supposed to be handing out supper but was to busy bemoaning his lot in life, waving the ladle in the air, that none of them got food that hadn't hit another surface of the kitchen before it made its way to their bowls, there was Rick's stare. Someone was bound to notice soon, and Vyvyan didn't have the slightest clue how to explain it, if he was questioned about it. He was going to have to handle this, but he didn't have the foggiest clue how, and he didn't think his trusty cricket bat would do the trick. He would have to confront him, possibly with his fists and tell him to stop being so poofy. He knocked on Rick's door harshly, it sounded like Rick tumbled off his bed “What is it? What do you want? “  
“Open the door virgin!”  
The door clicked open, revealing Rick shirtless, in his trousers not fully done up, with a bit of lace peeking out. “Took you long enough Vyvyan”  
The punks mouth went dry as his face flushed, and he was dragged into the room with the door shutting behind him. 

3\. Studying - connected to previous 16 Mess

"SHUT UP YOU POOFY BASTARD"   
"I'm so terribly sorry Vyvyan, was I interrupting you"  
“Rick, if you don't shut your trap, I will be forced to kill you. Now Shut The Bloody Hell Up!”   
“I don't see why I should, it's a free count… “ ::Thawk, Thud::  
“Silence at last”  
*ten minutes later*  
“Really Vyvyan, there are better ways to handle situations than with violence.. “  
“SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT UP! “  
“No, I don't think I shall”  
“Grr, look go to the basement grab some paint, paint the lounge, let me finish my revision in peace, so I don't lose my grant, and I will take you to party, alright poof?”  
“What is this a twick or something”  
“No just go, or I will use your spleen as my final project”  
And that's how the lounge got painted while Mike and Neil were away. 

4\. Murder

Alan B'Stard killed his parents, cut the breaks on their car, to ensure his seat as a Thatcherite puppet. Rick has been sitting on this information for months now, still unsure what to do with it. 

5\. Bandages

"Poof, why is my room ransacked?" Vyvyan shouted through the anarchist's door while slamming his shoulder into it.   
A click of the lock, made Vyvyan catch himself on the door frame as it opened inwards. "I don't know what you are talking about Vyvyan, Why would I want to do anything in your room, it's dis-gusting, I could catch something." "You're going to catch something alright, if you don't tell me what you were doing in there" He said as he grabbed Rick by his shoulder and started to drag him towards the upturned bedroom "It wasn't me, and really how could you tell it's been ... " Rick stuttered to a stop as he looked at the mess strewn about the punk's bedroom. "Well, I don't know what to tell you Vyvyan, it wasn't me" "Well then if it wasn't you, you poofy bastard who was it then? Neil knows not to go into my room or I will kill him, and why would Mike bother" "I don't know, are any bandages missing, maybe his girlfriend got a puncture?"

6\. Tattoo

"Rick?"  
"Yes Michael?"  
"Not that I pay much attention to your life there Rick, but is that a bit of Biro on your arm there?"  
"No it is not Mike."  
"You care to elaborate on that there, because I don't even think you could get a spot that big"  
"Not really Michael, but if you must know, it's a Tattoo"  
"Where'd you get that?"  
"At a tattoo parlor"  
"Rick stop playing dense and explain your arm"  
"It's a tattoo, Vyvyan got it for me for my birthday"  
"Vyvyan got you a tattoo for your birthday"  
"Yes, and really I have to get going now, I will be late for my demonstration, and really stopping Thatcher's henchmen from passing more unfair and ridiculous laws, is by far more important then my arm I should think."

 

7\. Jealousy - Bachelor Boy's reference   
Dear Diary,   
Vyvyan announced today that he was in a relationship with Prince Andrew. I was protesting Neil being a hippy at the time, standing there with my willy all out, as I found out that Vyvyan really is homosexual. Why isn't it me? I'll have to burn this, so it's never found. I called the papers, said I was Neil, sold them the story. Now that's revenge. Take that Vyvyan, for not choosing me, you'll have to deal with all the papparazzo. 

Vyvyan just came storming into the house, claiming his relationship was over, apparently the prince left him for Sarah Ferguson, oo-err, maybe I can get him on the rebound. Love and kisses, off to burn this now. 

8\. Hair

"Rick, Neil isn't home, so get your behind in the bathroom right now and help me with this"  
"Umm Vyv, I don't really know what you have going on with Neil, but really if you have been having relations with him in the bathroom, I really don't think I want to be involved"  
"Rick shut your mouth and get in here"  
"Really now Vyvyan, I don't happen to think this is in way appropriate"  
"Rick, for the last time, get in here, I am not trying to touch your bottom now, I need you to dye the back of my head, you nancy"  
"Well isn't that the pot and the kettle Vyvyan, I think it's a bit poofy of you to be dying your hair, Wait a blooming moment, what do you mean that your not trying to touch my bottom now, what do you mean by now?" 

 

9\. Turtle

"Guys, guys come out here into the garden and meet my new girlfriend, right yeah"  
Baffled looks overcame the faces of Neil's housemates as they walked to garden, beyond curious as to who could possible date the dirty hippy.   
"Neil you unbelievable moron, that's a turtle in a wig, most certainly not a bird"  
"Now now Rik, to be fair it's a tortoise" the punk informed him.  
"tomato tomato fellas, we know all the birds go to me, now Neil, where is the tea? And put that wig back in my closet!" Mike said walking back to the kitchen table. 

10\. Call

They got a call from Rick's friend Sue, to come down to the Kebab. Upon entering Vyvyan, Mike and Neil were lead to the door to the back alley. A scuffle could be heard, the sound of bodies falling into garbage cans, and wood hitting flesh. To only discover the most unexpected thing. Rick giving the a vicious beating to a biker almost twice his size.   
Rick fighting like a junkyard dog, was the most beautiful thing Vyv has ever seen.  
When it was done and somehow Rick had won, he wiped the blood from the corner of his mouth, looked Vyvyan straight in the eyes and his only remark regarding the affair that he would give “What did you think I was incapable of fighting back.”

11 Connecting 

Rick thought the most surprising thing about Vyvyan are the freckles he has splattered across his shoulders and upper back. It's a contrast to his otherwise almost translucent skin. When Vyvyan is in a deep sleep, curled up in Rick's bed unlikely to awake, Rick likes to draw imaginary lines connecting them, hoping one day they'll be close enough that the punk will let him draw actual lines. 

12 Following 

Rick slammed into the house, trying to shut the door quickly, to keep the bald four eyed creep out.   
“Look, Richie just because you got younger and uglier doesn't mean you can just ignore me now!”  
“Look, I am not this Richie fellow, my name is RICK, and if you don't go away, I will call the pigs! “  
Vyvyan came thundering down the stairs. “Ploopy pants, what are you squawking about now?, Oh hell, Uncle Eddie, what are doing here? “  
“Wait you know this creepy degenerate pervert? What am I saying of course you do.” Rik was cut off by a gentle rap at the door. “Neil, there's someone at the door!” Rick screeched into the communal area.   
“Yeah but you see Rik, I am meditating and you have interrupted… “  
“I don't care, shut up hippy”  
The knocked sounded again followed by a tentative hello.   
“Richie is that you? Are you a ghost come to haunt me?” Eddie fell to his knees, looking like he was about to start sobbing.   
“Imbecile” Rick muttered as opened the door. Richie smiled bashfully while walking in and delivering a gentle slap to the back of Eddie's head. “I told you not to run off, why did you leave?”  
“There was a pub, how'd you find me? I thought you died and came back as this girlie swot”  
“I followed the trail of broken pint glass. “  
“This is all very nice but would you mind leaving now” Rick gritted out.   
“Well there's no reason to be rude” Richie huffed as he lifted Eddie off the ground and out the door while the drunkard exclaimed “Nephew you should buy your uncle a pint sometime you bastard”   
Rik slammed the door shut in there faces the moment they passed over the threshold. “I hope I never see them again, how ridiculous… “ he trailed off muttering as he ascended the stairs to his room.  
“I would of liked to have gone for a pint with my uncles” Vyv said to no one, as he grabbed the kettle knocking Neil over the head with it. “So where's my tea you hippy? ”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you palegingerade


	3. This set might continue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alright, these might eventually become something bigger in their own rights, and there will be another chapter of shorts after this. Let me know what you think. And really if anyone feels like they want to expand them, please by all means. I just have to get them out of my head.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you Betsybo.

~ Insomnia ~  
He awoke unnerved. His anxiety was overwhelming. He knew he wasn’t going to be able to get back to sleep at this rate, it was too dark, too quiet, completely overwhelming. He huffed as he got up, for once trying to be quiet as he left his room and softy opened to door across the hall from him. Rick was sound asleep, Vyvyan wonder if he could get away with slipping into his bed, catching a couple hours sleep and be out before Rick awoke or noticed. The floor board creaked as he lifted the blanket to get into the bed. His previous thought already blown out the window, Rick had stirred and noticed.  
“Vyv? What’s going on?”  
“Rick, just shut up and go back to sleep, I need sleep and I can’t get any in my room”  
“Huh? Why not”  
“Just shut up Rick, it's just this, everything thing can go back to normal in the morning” he muttered already starting to doze off as repositioned himself in Rick’s bed, trying to shift Rick around so he was the little spoon.  
“Vyv, are you ok?”  
“…Maybe, just go to sleep alright” Vyvyan thought that’d be the end of it, as he felt Rick finally start to relax.  
“Vyv, you know, um If you want it can be more than this…”  
“For fuck’s sake Rick, I need sleep, we’ll deal with it in the morning, oh stop, come back here damn it, I didn’t say no, stop getting your girlie knickers in a bunch and go to sleep, yeah”

~ Dreams ~

“Hey, Hey Rick man, I just had the heaviest dream man. We were scooby doo”  
“I don’t care you hippie, wait no, who was I?”  
“Oh yeah man you were Velma, and I was Shaggy, and Mike was Fred, obviously, and Vyvyan was Daphne, he’s got very nice legs you know? And SPG was Scrappy Doo. My teakettle was Scooby, it looked really cool man. And we were all back in the van we stole…”  
“Wait a minute Neil, What Do You Mean I was Velma?”  
“I can’t control my dreams, Rik, it’s just what the universe provides me” ::Clang of the aforementioned teakettle knocking Neil out::  
“Shut up Neil, and stop looking at Vyvyan’s legs, they’re not yours, you know.”

~ Hog ~  
“What did I tell you about using power tools, Vyvyan?”  
“Yes, but I had to Michael, I have to dissect this hog.”  
“What hog? Did you kill a farmer, Vyv? “  
“No, no murder… “  
“So where'd you get that exceptionally large pig from? “  
“We get to have bacon, when I was little one of my mom's boyfriend's was a butcher, I know what to do. The pig's anatomy is similar to the human’s, it's a like a practical for my course”  
“So you got the pig from your class?”  
“Erm, no”  
“Vyvyan! “  
“Oh well you see, Rick brought it home for me in a shopping cart, he said he got it from one of his protests. “  
“Well did you tell him yes? “  
“Yes to what Michael? “  
“The marriage proposal, babes, when a bird gives you livestock, it's a dowry.”  
“A what now? “  
“A bribe towards marriage, did you not say yes? Rick hasn't gone off to use Neil's Gallows, has he? We can't really afford to have the rent go up or you destroying everything because your boyfriend is dead”  
“Michael you have seemed to have misunderstood, Rick is not my boyfriend. “  
“Vyvyan the only one misunderstanding is you, now go fix this, I won't have the more than normal amount of discord in this house, it's bad for business. “  
“Yeah sure Mike, right after I am done cutting up this porker, whatever you say.“  
"Just get it sorted, and it would do you to remember that Rick is a vegetarian and just brought you home, a dead pig"  
"Really Michael, it's not what you seem to be thinking"  
"That's what they all say"


End file.
